Typical Day. Got Up. Ate Breakfast. Showered. Brushed my teeth and oh yeah.... I joined a Biker Gang. Here's how it all happened. I had this field trip today, for a bunch of pre-schoolers at Lily Pond. On the way, a bunch of big, mean, and surly bikers got behind me. It just so happened that I had to cross over railroad tracks and if you ever drove a bus... you know the whole routine. Turn on your 4 ways... Stop... Open the window and the door... look both ways... twice... then close the door and window and proceed in the lowest gear. Being behind all that bus action can get quite annoying so imagine my surprise when I pulled up to the school building and 11 Bikers and Biker babes pulled in behind me... backed their bikes up and slowly got off their hogs.
My mind was reeling. Are they ticked because I slowed them down? Did I stare to long at one of the Biker babes? (Mind you, I do have a strict NO dating girls with bugs in their teeth rule but that does not preclude awkward gawking or an occasional, stalkeresque dwelling stare).
The biggest... the meanest... the surliest biker of them all said, "I'll get the bus driver."
Uh Oh! Somebodies getting a butt whipping.
My Fight or Flight skills kicked in... I pee'd myself... twice.
(A defensive maneuver used to disguise my scent)
So I'm thinking... do I close the doors, turn on the engine and back up over all these bikers and their bikes, speed away and avoid a butt whipping? Too Late... the Big mean Surly Biker came up to my window and introduced himself... his name was Animal and he was the leader of a group of Bikers called B.A.C.A. Bikers Against Child Abuse and they weren't there to whip my butt... they were there to escort me and the Lily Pond kids into H-burg to hold a rally on the steps of the Court House.
Six Screaming Harleys in front of me and Five Screaming Harleys behind. We even went through a yellow light... I'm such a bad ass! And the best part of the story.... they made me an honorary Biker in charge of getting them coffee and washing the bikes. Cool Huh? That's like double bonus points on my Man Card!
I even got one of those awesome Biker names.
They call me Fang.
Fang the Destroyer of Cheese Cakes
No comments:
Post a Comment