Things that go Bump (Dammit) in the Night

As a Bus Driver, there are certain "Tells" I look for to inform me on how my day is going to go.

1) Did I make the light at the 7th Street bridge?
2) How much of a log Jam is there in front of the Junior High?
3) How many bowls of Fruit Loops did Lillyanna eat that morning?

Lillyanna is this precious blonde haired, brown eyed second grader who rides my bus daily and I can always tell what kind of morning I'm going to have by the height Lillyanna attains while jumping up and down at the bus stop. A two to three inch jump usually means she's only consumed one bowl of Fruit Loops. I consider that to be a manageable day. Anything over three inches to a foot spells trouble as Lillyanna has most certainly eaten multiple bowls of that sugary delectable delight and I will be the beneficiary of a very long story.

I estimate today to be a three bowl morning.

The following conversation was actually had this morning before school as the students awaited the bell. It was done with no breaths taken between sentences as will clearly be depicted by the lack of punctuation in the telling of today's story. Fortunately, I was expecting it so I took down bullet points to relay it to you... the reader. And now, without further adieu... Things that go Bump (Dammit) in the Night

Mr. Stuckey last night I saw a racoon and it was eating our garbage but I thought it was my cat Cookie but it wasn't because it was a raccoon did you know they call raccoons bandits and sometimes they're called night bandits because they only come out at night however I once saw a raccoon during the day but my mom made me come inside because evidently raccoons have scabies and if you see a raccoon during the day it's probably because they are sick with scabies and raccoons are also called natures garbage disposals because they eat garbage out of garbage cans which is what this raccoon was doing and my mom got scarred because she heard the noise outside so she took her flashlight and went outside to investigate in her boyfriends flannel shirt because it was unseasonably warm last night and my mom usually wears two pairs of pajama bottoms because she gets cold but it was warm so she was only wearing the flannel shirt and when she went outside she banged real loud into the trash can and she said a bad word she said the "D" word that ends in "it" that I'm not allowed to say but I guess she was really mad because she fell down and because she wasn't wearing pajama bottoms since it was warm out the whole neighborhood could see her underwear the ones with the holes in not the pink pair with the flowers but the blue ones she's had since I was a baby did you know that raccoons are a nocturnal mammal native to north and central america I learned that watching the discovery channel because my pappy likes watching shows with animals and it's his fault the raccoon was there in the first place because of my pappy's biscuits which aren't really biscuits they're pieces of old bread he throws out for the birds but we just call them biscuits oh is that the bell well have a nice day Mr. Stuckey