My Bravery Knows No Bounds

Gosh I hate to toot my own horn but.... Toot frickin' Toot!

Yesterday, I found myself AGAIN at DelGrosso's Park. You may recall how last week my skills as a Gentleman, Hero and yes... Bus Driving God were required of me when four of my fellow "Female" STA Bus Drivers, perilously attempted the suicidal death drop of the 100 foot Free Fall ride at Bland's park.

Little did I know that, once again, my skills as a calming influence would be required when 3 more "Female" STA Bus Drivers requested my broad shoulders to cry and scream upon as they all wanted an exciting thrill ride at the park. I told them I'm saving myself for marriage and if they wanted a thrill ride, they'd have to look elsewhere.

That's when Lori, Diana and Vicki begged me to buck up their wavering nerves and steady their shaking legs, and ride the Gravity defying "Pharoah's Fury".

Lori snapped the above picture of my bravery and manliness.

Now to the untrained eye, it would appear that I was trying to escape over the railing while Diana pulled me back into line. The truth is, there was a group of 9 year olds waiting to get on the ride and I was merely being a kind and thoughtful adult and allow the children to board first.

Let me pause from the story for a second to relay a cautionary tale to anyone who may want to ride Pharoah's Fury in the coming summer season. Be forewarned that there is a sign at the front of the ride that says you have to be "So Tall" before you can get on the ride. They do not, however, have any warning as to how fat you can be before you CAN'T get on the ride. Let's just say it was a tight squeeze and had it have been any tighter I wouldn't have had an accident in my pants... it would have been an on purpose.

It was a mostly unremarkable ride with the exception of having my ear drum bombarded by Vicki's screams. My ears rang for the next hour or so but I did hear someone whisper...

"Have you ever noticed how Pat Stuckey and Superman are never in the same room?"

I think they're on to me.

Toot frickin' Toot