Happy Birthday

We celebrate Birthdays on my bus. The company I work for, graciously supplied me with a list of all my student passengers that includes their birth dates. It's been my experience that the kids will get super excited starting about a week before their actual birthday. It is a certainty that they will make sure to remind me every day prior, that their birthday is coming up. It is also a certainty, that when that day comes and we actually sing to them... they get totally embarrassed and sink way down low into the bus seat cushions. This is a story about Zoe. A 1st grader who was overly excited for her birthday but wasn't quite with the program when it came to answering my questions.

(Me) "Soooo Zoe... you turned 7 today. I guess you'll soon be driving a car soon?"

(Zoe) "That's silly... kids can't drive cars."

(Me) "Well than maybe you should drive the bus. Do you want to drive?"

(Zoe) *crickets*

(Me) "You know... if I keep driving you every day... you're never going to learn how."

(Zoe) "I'm only 7."

(Me) "So you wont start driving until you're 8 or 9?"

(Zoe changing the subject) "I get to stay up until 8:30 now and I get an extra dollar when I do my homework and chores!"

(Me) "Speaking of chores... when are you getting a real job?"

(Zoe) "Kids don't work until they're 20 or 90 or something and maybe sometimes when they get to go to college."

(Me) "Speaking of college... are you going to college when you get older?"

(Zoe bored with me again) "I get to go ice skating for my birthday tonight!"

Why, When I Was Your Age.....

From January 10, 2017

This is the one where I thought I was being clever and funny but had my sarcastic jocularity turned back on me...

(Me to a Group of Students) "Did you all do your homework last night?"

(3rd grader) "No Mr. Stuckey, we didn't have any homework last night."

(Me, now incredulous and sarcastic) "No Homework!?! You're kidding me... why when I was a kid we had homework 8 days a week. I'm not saying I did it every night but yeah... our teachers gave us homework 8 days a week!"

(5th grader) "That's impossible. There's only 7 days in a week!"

(Me) "Oh yeah... are you sure about that???"

(5th grader) "Yeah I'm sure of that... and maybe if you had actually DONE your homework you'd know that too!"

Another Gem from Gemma

I've already mentioned my kindergartner, 6 year-old Gemma, but what I didn't mention is her adorable use of the phrase "And Then Guess What" as punctuation to every story she tells. This is how Gemma told me about a very familiar Fairy Tale.....

(Gemma) "Last night my me-maw readed me a book AND GUESS WHAT there was a little girl named Goldilocks in it AND GUESS WHAT she had long yellow hair AND GUESS WHAT she got lost in the woods AND GUESS WHAT she got unlost 'cause she founded a bear cabin AND GUESS WHAT she founded 3 bear chairs in the cabin AND GUESS WHAT she founded 3 bear bowls of porridge AND GUESS WHAT she founded 3 bear beds AND GUESS WHAT......."

It was at that point the school bell rang and all the students, including Gemma, hurried off the bus and headed to class. Gemma never did finish the story to tell me how it ends AND GUESS WHAT... I think I already know.

Boys Are Sooooo Stupid

God, in His infinite wisdom and sense of humor, has ordained upon high that young girls mature much faster than boys. I have Five (boy crazy) 12-13 year-old young ladies on my bus and today's conversation went something like this...

(Girl 1) "Anthony thinks he's so cool... I had to sit next to him at the assembly... he's soooo stupid... I can't stand him!"

(Girl 2) "Well at least you don't have to be in study group with him like me!"

(Girl 3) "Braxton texted me yesterday... I don't know how he got my number... he's so stupid... oh look... there's Ayden... all he cares about is his hair!"

(Me) "Well he does have nice hair."

(All Three girls in unison) "Ewwwwwwwwww!!!"

(Me) "Tell me ladies, do you think the boys sit around talking about you girls, like you talk about them?"

(Girl 3) "No... all they talk about is video games!"

(Girl 2) "Or watching videos about other boys playing video games!"

(Girl 1) "Boys are so stupid... I can't stand them!"

How High Can You Count

From January 5, 2017

Gemma, a 6 year old kindergartner, came running up to me before school with a paper in her hand, totally excited and with a huge smile on her face.

(Gemma) "Mr. Stuckey, Mr. Stuckey, I can count really really high! How high can you count?"

(Me) "Well Gemma, I guess I can count all the way up to a trillion but you'd be graduating high school long before I finished."

(Gemma... a little deflated now but still excited) "Oh... well I can count up to thirty! Here see."

Gemma held up her piece of paper which had the numbers from 1 to 8 on one side and 9 to 30 on the other.

(Me) "That's really great Gemma! Now can you tell me what number comes after 30?"

(Gemma looking down at her paper) "No... that's all the more number that would fit on my paper."

(Me trying to be encouraging) "Well, after 30 comes 31. Then 32, 33, 34..."

Gemma interrupted my counting and lightly tapped my arm.

(Gemma) "Mr. Stuckey... I think I'm going to need more paper."

What's This All About

After spending my entire life toiling in the Printing Industry, this past year, I became a School Bus Driver. The most fulfilling job in the Universe. Well... at least it is for me. You see I've always had a passion for kids, and if you'll allow me a brief moment of non-modesty, a real talent in communicating with children from toddler to teen. In the beginning of 2017, I began chronicling the conversations between the elementary aged students on my bus and me. My Facebook friends seemed to enjoy the little stories I relayed and soon I was getting comments directing me to "write a book". Well... I'm too lazy to write a book but blogging... yeah I can do that. So sit back... please stay in your seats and don't stick you head or hands out the windows while the bus is moving... and mostly... I just enjoy.