The Cookie Wars

It started out all quite innocently. Two 3rd grade boys approached the front of the bus this morning. One, with a disgusted yet eager face, just dying to tell me about his last evening...

(Boy 1) "Mr. Stuckey, my dad put 5 Oreo cookies in his mouth then opened it up and made me look."

(Me) "Nice."

(Boy 2) "Well my dad put 10 Oreos in his mouth."

(Me) "Okay."

(Boy 1) "Well my dad once ate a whole bag of oreos all by himself."

Clearly things had escalated as the bus waited patiently for boy 2 to top that.

(Boy 2) "Well my dad ate a whole bag of Oreos and drank a whole bottle of Mt. Dew and my mom said he was going to be sick!"

(Me) "Did he get sick?"

(Boy 2) "No, but he couldn't poop for two days."

It was time to call for a detente between Waring parties

(Me) "Does anybody have a story that doesn't involve Oreos?"

That's when my smallest of kindergartners came forward and tugged on my arm.

(5 year-old girl) "My daddy ate all the chocolate chip cookies and I didn't get to eat any."

(Me) "Do you like chocolate chip cookies?"

(5 year-old) "No. I don't like chocolate."

(Me) "Well than you didn't really care that you didn't get to eat any, now did you?"

(5 year-old) "Uh huh... I like to eat the part of the cookie that isn't so chippy!"