What I Did on My Summer Vacation

A scientific poll was conducted today of 36 Baker Elementary School Students, by the Stuckey Research Center, and found that a whopping 100% (that would be 36 of 36) participants will be "Going to the Beach" this coming Summer. This does not bode well for "Camping" or "Learning a Craft" unless that craft involves sea shells, as 35 out of 36 students are going to the beach simply to collect sea shells. 1% of the students are going because their cousin is getting married in South Carolina and she's being forced to go. Of all 36 children, 0% will be swimming due to shark attacks. When confronted by the statistic that less than .0000037 percent of swimmers will be attacked by sharks and that it is far more likely to be attacked by an alligator in your backyard, the poll results changed to 40% of students being affraid to go swimming and 60% of students now feared going in their backyard. A follow-up question was asked of Mr. Stuckey of the Stuckey Research Center. "Mr. Stuckey, will you be going to the beach?" The students were informed that Mr. Stuckey will no longer go to the beach because the last time he went, 5 people thought he was a whale that washed ashore and kept trying to push him back into the Ocean. #FreeWilly